Since Joshua, work isn’t as consuming for me as it was. I think I threw myself into work a lot more to keep my mind off of the infertility battle. It actually turned out to be a good thing, because I worked my way up to make enough so we could afford to adopt and raise our family. My life used to be either 1) Working, 2) Studying for some exam for work 3) Doing some type of extra activity for work to add to my resume. Now, I am trying to get things back into balance, and put more home into my life. Having a baby and having to pay for babysitting doesn’t lend itself well to working lots of extra hours. I’ve had to really prioritize what is important and I’ve said “no” to a lot of activities and committees that I normally would have jumped on. I am just focusing on the Bilingual Committee and Toastmasters at work, in addition to getting my team to where they need to be.

I’ve started a new routine. Mornings are so hectic trying to get Joshua up and ready to go to his uncle’s (or just get him ready for the day), so I’ve started showering every night rather than in the morning. We are not eating out as much (due to cost and it’s actually more inconvenient sometimes with a little one) so I am doing a lot of the cooking. Every weekend I pick a meal (last week it was dirty rice, this week it was meatloaf and mashed taters) and I put it into individual containers and freeze. It’s something I did occasionally before Joshua, but now it is a must. I don’t have time to cook during the week. I come home (sometimes carrying a baby, diaper bag, purse, & laptop bag), tired already from a long day, trying to get Joshua fed, there is just no way that I have time to cook dinner.

Additionally, Donald and I each take turns being a “single parent” it feels like. The one time I usually have Donald here to help watch Josh while I cook is Saturday mornings, so I have Donald watch Joshua while I get up early Saturday and get things cooked and the kitchen cleaned afterwards. I’ve done this for about a month, and it’s working well. I understand now why parents of young children really crave schedules and don’t want to go out of town as much. If my only time to prep food is Saturday morning, it’s such a pain to reschedule that to do something else! Isn’t that strange?
If I have to do something different one weekend, it can throw the whole schedule off.

Well, Joshua is napping, I’m going to try to catch a nap, too!

Joshua is starting to pick his head up while being on his tummy! It’s so nuts….it was like he couldn’t do it one day, then all of a sudden he started doing it! He’s a fun baby.

Donald did some honey-do’s today - he fixed our fence (yeah!) so hopefully Luna can frolick in the yard again without running away!

Lois Jurgens was an adoptive mother whose own son testified against her in the murder trial of his brother, Dennis Jurgens.
This is especially poignant because the birth mother was forced to give up her son for adoption because she was in state custody. Years later when she was trying to locate her son, she found out he had died. The birth mother, Jerry Sherwood, was convinced that he had been beaten to death. Due to Sherry’s efforts, the case was reopened and Lois Jurgens was convicted of murder.

While I was crying and holding Joshua I kept saying, “You’re giving all of us adoptive parents a bad name.” Yes, giving us a bad name, indeed.

What a heartbreak, on so many levels.

This man on the phone said to me, “No, sweetie, you just don’t get it, you don’t understand.”

SWEETIE?!?! Excuse me! I just about flipped out. That is TERRIBLY sexist. Would you EVER call a guy you’re arguing with “Sweetie?” Like I am some child that doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

I haven’t had any sexist comments thrown at me in a while, so this just threw me for a loop.

This is Jessie’s husband posting for her. I thought this was too good not to share!

Donald had a “date” to watch Joshua on Saturday so I could get up early and scrub the basement floor! I thought the stains were from our cats that had been making messes, so I scrubbed the whole floor, on my hands and knees, with a brush. Well, after I got it scrubbed, I realized the spots aren’t from the cats (as they’ve been out of our house about 5 days) but the basement is leaking! It’s a slow leak that I think is coming from the outdoor faucet and pooling through the wall. It’s gross looking, and I’m very upset about it. It was just the last straw. When we moved into our new house it was filthy, so we’ve been slowly trying to get it all cleaned up. The previous owners left TONS of junk that we had to pay to have hauled away, and the lawn was about 3 foot tall, so we had to hire someone to mow it for $60. We paid the prior owners rent until our mortgage closed, and we overpaid them for 2 days, and now they won’t return our realtor’s calls to repay us the 2 days rent! It was very nice of the prior owners to let us move in while we were dealing with our mortgage fiasco, but this whole experience has been so upsetting. I’ve had to pray a lot because I feel like I am just so mad about the whole house situation instead of being grateful, which is something I need to work on. It is a great house, and we have a great kid and a great marriage, but all these dumb house things with the old owners hit me this week when I realized the basement was leaking. And, it’s a slow leak, which typically isn’t covered by insurance - insurance typically covers pipe bursting and the like. So, that’s where I am. A house full of boxes that I never seem to have time to unpack, a leaky basement, and a lot of family coming into town this weekend. Wish me luck !

That reminds me….What in the world did I DO all day before being a parent? I am barely able to keep up on the dishes and laundry, but I feel MORE productive than I did before Joshua. I just think I was in a daze of depression from infertility or I just didn’t have very good time management skills because we had a lot of free time. I remember doing nothing when I got home from work but play video games. Now every night I’m feeding, changing, playing with Joshua, trying to take care of Luna, work on bills, put in some dishes or some laundry, and fit in some blogging on the side. I am running all day long, and I am so worn out! What did I DO all the time before we had him?!?!

So often Donald and I would see a movie spontaneously, or go out to eat, or just decide to shop for something (mostly some gadget at Best Buy). We had a lot of extra money and could do as we pleased without really planning anything. I loved just being with Donald, but after a while it got boring and kind of sad to be the only couple without kids.

You end up feeling alone and out of it, because everyone else you know has kids, and talks about their kids and what is going on with them. You grow apart from people because it just hurts to much to put yourself in situations with people with kids, so you lose friends. So, being childless had its good points and bad points, and it just hit me today how we’re in a new era in our lives. We had to redo our will and pick guardians for Joshua if something happens to us. We also need to redo our budget to save money for our next adoption. We’re thinking of ways to get coupons and save money for diapers and formula, and we’ve practically BEGGED everyone we know at work for hand-me-downs! We are those annoying people that won’t stop talking about their child and have 500 photos of him up at work. If I would have talked to myself a couple years ago, I would have driven myself nuts!

**We still haven’t gotten Joshua’s birth certificate! That is the final piece of the puzzle, to finally have it with Donald and mine’s names on it!

I DIDN’T ADOPT JOSHUA TO GET PREGNANT. –>

]]> http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/19/ignorance-is/feed/ http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/16/we-are-now-cat-less/ http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/16/we-are-now-cat-less/#comments Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:02:36 +0000 DramaQueen http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/16/we-are-now-cat-less/ We are now cat-less. My friend Staci called and stated that she picked up Cowboy just fine; he is chilling in the bathroom at her apartment while she and her boyfriend are at work. I guess he seemed just fine; he didn’t get sick or anything in the carrier. I guess the motion sickness medicine worked!

This weekend I’ve gotta work on cleaning up downstairs and get it ready for next weekend’s baptism party and work party. We’ve gotta find a cool area rug!

I am tired, I’ve been up since 3am, and I only slept from 12:00a - 3:00a. I feel like I’m back in college! I left work around 3:15pm (which was nice, normally I stay until 6:30pm or so) and I’m going to take a nice nap!

]]> http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/16/we-are-now-cat-less/feed/ http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/15/cowboy-flies/ http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/15/cowboy-flies/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:59:48 +0000 DramaQueen http://blog.salsburygallery.com/2008/07/15/cowboy-flies/ Cowboy flies out tomorrow - we need to get him to the airport by 4:30 am - so that should be fun. Wednesday is chock full of meetings, so hopefully can pump myself with enough coffee to stay awake.

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