Sunday Joshua gets baptized at our new church, which is really exciting. I didn’t realize all the family that is coming into town; my aunt and uncle MIGHT be able to come, but they won’t know until the last minute. I’m putting together a brunch for everyone to have after the baptism (an idea I stole from Heather and Gretchen - they did brunches after their kids’ baptisms, I thought it was a cool idea…) It’s just been rough getting unpacked and getting the house clean. My mother in law is going to stay with us one day this week and she offered to watch Joshua so Donald can do some unpacking. Everything we do in the house needs to be scheduled!
Donald had a “date” to watch Joshua on Saturday so I could get up early and scrub the basement floor! I thought the stains were from our cats that had been making messes, so I scrubbed the whole floor, on my hands and knees, with a brush. Well, after I got it scrubbed, I realized the spots aren’t from the cats (as they’ve been out of our house about 5 days) but the basement is leaking! It’s a slow leak that I think is coming from the outdoor faucet and pooling through the wall. It’s gross looking, and I’m very upset about it. It was just the last straw. When we moved into our new house it was filthy, so we’ve been slowly trying to get it all cleaned up. The previous owners left TONS of junk that we had to pay to have hauled away, and the lawn was about 3 foot tall, so we had to hire someone to mow it for $60. We paid the prior owners rent until our mortgage closed, and we overpaid them for 2 days, and now they won’t return our realtor’s calls to repay us the 2 days rent! It was very nice of the prior owners to let us move in while we were dealing with our mortgage fiasco, but this whole experience has been so upsetting. I’ve had to pray a lot because I feel like I am just so mad about the whole house situation instead of being grateful, which is something I need to work on. It is a great house, and we have a great kid and a great marriage, but all these dumb house things with the old owners hit me this week when I realized the basement was leaking. And, it’s a slow leak, which typically isn’t covered by insurance - insurance typically covers pipe bursting and the like. So, that’s where I am. A house full of boxes that I never seem to have time to unpack, a leaky basement, and a lot of family coming into town this weekend. Wish me luck !
That reminds me….What in the world did I DO all day before being a parent? I am barely able to keep up on the dishes and laundry, but I feel MORE productive than I did before Joshua. I just think I was in a daze of depression from infertility or I just didn’t have very good time management skills because we had a lot of free time. I remember doing nothing when I got home from work but play video games. Now every night I’m feeding, changing, playing with Joshua, trying to take care of Luna, work on bills, put in some dishes or some laundry, and fit in some blogging on the side. I am running all day long, and I am so worn out! What did I DO all the time before we had him?!?!
So often Donald and I would see a movie spontaneously, or go out to eat, or just decide to shop for something (mostly some gadget at Best Buy). We had a lot of extra money and could do as we pleased without really planning anything. I loved just being with Donald, but after a while it got boring and kind of sad to be the only couple without kids.
You end up feeling alone and out of it, because everyone else you know has kids, and talks about their kids and what is going on with them. You grow apart from people because it just hurts to much to put yourself in situations with people with kids, so you lose friends. So, being childless had its good points and bad points, and it just hit me today how we’re in a new era in our lives. We had to redo our will and pick guardians for Joshua if something happens to us. We also need to redo our budget to save money for our next adoption. We’re thinking of ways to get coupons and save money for diapers and formula, and we’ve practically BEGGED everyone we know at work for hand-me-downs! We are those annoying people that won’t stop talking about their child and have 500 photos of him up at work. If I would have talked to myself a couple years ago, I would have driven myself nuts!
**We still haven’t gotten Joshua’s birth certificate! That is the final piece of the puzzle, to finally have it with Donald and mine’s names on it!
Yesterday Joshua’s adoption was finalized!
We were at the courthouse at 1pm. When we got there, one of the attorney’s mentioned that the judge was gone because his wife was in the hospital, and they were trying to find another judge to do the adoption finalization. Well, the other judge was busy. Around 2pm, our attorney found out that the original judge was going to come back to do some work and then go back to the hospital. The judge was back about 3:30pm, and we were done by 4pm. Our party was supposed to start at 4pm, but luckily we got a hold of the only person that was coming by early to let him know it wasn’t starting until later.
When we finally got into the courtroom, Joshua was hungry so I was finishing up a feeding. He decided to spit up, projectile style, all over my glasses, face, and hair. (you can’t make this stuff up) Donald was trying his best to keep from cracking up, but he graciously cleaned off my glasses. The attorney and the judge swore me in and asked me questions confirming my willingness to adopt Joshua. I started BAWLING and couldn’t answer the questions in a coherent manner, but we got through it. It was a great feeling when the judge said “The court concurs that they should adopt this child.” It’s FOREVER!!!!
Check out the photos on our flickr page!!!
While Joshua has been napping, I’ve been trying to unpack. Our adoption finalization party/open house is Wednesday from 4pm - 9pm. Email me at watermelonjessie at yahoo dot com if you didn’t get an evite.
I warned people that our house was still going to be a disaster for the open house, but I really wanted to do a little something to celebrate his finalization on the DAY his adoption was finalized. It is going to be awesome! I am so happy that we’ve had him with us since he was an HOUR old…definitely a big blessing! Some adoptive parents don’t get their kids until they are much older.
I have been a little nervous taking a full week off work unpaid, but it had to be done. There was no other way to get out of our old house and into our new house without taking off work. Donald has been working this weekend and will work tomorrow. He’s also going to work on 4th of July, so those hours should give us some good holiday pay. I’m on a bilingual committee at work so I have some things to do for that, but after that I will work on a proposal to make our company more friendly to adoptive families. I will keep you all updated as I work on that.
Still no word from the biological father, so we are all hopeful that everything will go ahead without a hitch on Wednesday!
Tuesday is the first day Uncle Drew is going to watch Joshua, and his own son Jaxon, at the same time! I watched them both on Friday and it was a challenge. Jaxon was great; he was in a good mood and laid down right away and took a GREAT nap. My son, however, just started becoming “clingy” with me. He wanted me to hold him the whole day. Well, when Jaxon needed something Joshua was just really unhappy, so for a couple hours there I was trying my best to fit two crying babies on my lap. It’s been fun, though, that Joshua knows I am mommy and the only thing that settles him down is me holding him, so that was a nice feeling. I just really wanted to do some laundry and get the kitchen unpacked.
Oh well, holding a baby is more fun than laundry or unpacking, wouldn’t you agree?
Joshua is doing better; no more explosive spit ups. We did soy formula for a day, then switched back to regular, he seems okay. Last night was a fussy night so I didn’t get hardly any sleep, going to crash here in a minute.
We got our hospital bill for Joshua for the two days he was there…guess what our out of pocket was?
$38.00! Awesome!
The OBGYN that delivered Joshua and gave his Birthmom her prenatal care charged us only $1500 for ALL the prenatal care AND the delivery, which is just awesome! I guess that’s a pretty sizable discount, I had in my mind that it should have cost around $3000. I guess this OBGYN does a lot of adoption deliveries and we feel so blessed he gave a discount like that - some things work out!
The appraisal on our house is getting closer, they’ve worked the guy up to a more reasonable amount, so we may be able to get the ends to meet and get our loan to go through. Our realtor and the seller’s realtor have been working their tails off presenting more information to the lender to advise why his appraisal is unreasonable. What a crazy situation! I am glad I don’t buy or sell houses very often, I think it’s given me an ulcer.
I was sitting at work today and my hair was driving me nuts. All last night when Joshua was fussy he would GRAB and yank on my hair. I decided, on a whim, to get my hair cut over lunch.
It is VERY short, but I think it’s cute. Actually, it could look crappy and I really wouldn’t care, I was tired of my son yanking on my hair and trying to stick it into his mouth. I took some photos, need to have help from the hubby to get them on here so you can see.
I showed my hair off to Jennie at work and she said, “Yep, it’s a new mommy haircut, you just had to get one.” Fun!
Oh Lord, I of little faith. What good news has been coming in lately.
1 week till we move!
2 weeks till the adoption is finalized! We haven’t heard anything about a biological dad coming forward from the newspaper advertisements….please pray with me that it stays that way!
We sent the birthmom’s best friend another set of photos and a quick update, that way, she’ll have them to look at whenever she’s ready. I want to write her a letter to tell her how blessed we feel to be Joshua’s parents, but I haven’t been able to come up with the right words…hopefully, they will come to me when the time is right.
Joshua has been gassy and spitting up the past week. However, last night he spit up so much I had to change him and his bassinett 3 times - one of those times was PROJECTILE spit up - it woke me up!
Our social worker mentioned African American babies have a greater tendency to be lactose intolerant. So, I have some lactose free formula. I just fed him 2.5 ounces of it, and he didn’t seem to mind it. I will have to see if this decreases the spit up, gassiness, and overall unhappiness. I have got to remember to talk to the doctor on Friday.
Joshua was with Donald’s Aunt Delaina all day yesterday! They said that he was good and they had fun babysitting him. Aunt Delaina offered to take him the WHOLE next weekend (even overnight on Saturday) so we can pack and get ready for our move on May 21st! What a BIG blessing! Also, Donald’s friend Becky offered to still take Josh on Thursday even though Donald doesn’t have class, so that should help as well. I didn’t get as much done yesterday as I wanted…except, I took a HUGE nap. I packed probably half of the nursery stuff that we aren’t really using (big clothes, the crib stuff, and decorations). I am not sure why we set up the crib since he’d be little enough to use the bassinett until we moved. I guess we set it up so we could feel like it was really happening.
Oh, yea! It’s mother’s day! Donald got me 2 charms for my italian charm bracelet, one says “Joshua”, the other says “Arden”. Mother’s day the past few years has been so hard for me.
Now that I’m a mom, it just feels like a normal day. I have been praying off and on for everyone going through infertility today; it’s a rough day to go through. Looking back, infertility is such a dark and cavernous pain. What makes it worse is that people don’t understand how bad it is, people seem to try and talk you out of how bad you’re feeling. They say things like “Just relax” or “Other people have too many kids that they can’t afford” or “You’re lucky you haven’t had a bunch of miscarriages” or “Well, you just have a lot more money without kids.” I guess people that have cancer or difficult life circumstances go through the same barrage of ignorant comments, it just seems more poignant when you’re in the middle of the infertility roller coaster.
I think the best thing to say is, “I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?” That will keep you out of trouble in a lot of hurtful life cases.
On the adoption front, our social worker came over on Wednesday. We have 1 more meeting with her on May 23rd in our new house. She said that one other couple that she works with is having their finalization on May 28th as well, a little bi-racial African American girl named Emre. I think that is a cool name! It will be fun to have another couple there. Our social worker mentioned that the other family is in the middle of moving as well; they’re even putting off their move by a couple weeks until the adoption is finalized. Everybody has been paid, the “advertisements” for the biodad are in the paper, the only thing to do is show up on May 28th and get it finalized.
Keep checking Joshua’s Flickr page (there is a link on the upper right hand corner) We will put all the pictures there. It’s in order of most recent to oldest.
I worked from home yesterday and today…AWESOME! And I am going to work from home about 1-2 a week for the next few weeks!!!
Our house passed inspection, so the move is a go!
Joshua’s adoption finalization is May 28th! That evening, (starting at 4:00 ish) we’re having an open house/ adoption finalization party at our NEW house in Gardner. Email me at watermelonjessie at yahoo dot com if you didn’t get an invite, as I’ve been forgetful lately.
My friend Katharine called today and said she and some other church folks could help me pack!
This has been an AWESOME day!!!!!
And, my blog hit 10,000 visitors!! Woo hoo!
Donald and I talk about Joshua all the time. He is our favorite topic of conversation. Everything he does is facinating: from facial expressions to bodily functions.
I can’t believe it’s been 9 days since he was born!
I went to Wal-Mart today and brought Joshua. 3 ladies commented on how cute he was and asked how old he was. It was pretty neat. Once you put a car seat in the cart, there really isn’t much room for anything else! Oh, well, cuts down on the amount you pile in your cart, so you end up spending less.
When he takes naps I look at photos of him, if I’m doing something else I’ll peek in on him just to watch him sleep.
We had a fun moment today. He had wet his little bassinet and he was LIVID. I got him undressed and washed him up, and he INSTANTLY calmed down when I was holding him. That felt really nice, made me feel like mom!
Our attorney advised us the birthmom is going to court Monday at noon. I’m not EXACTLY sure what is going to happen, but I thnk that she has to declare before the judge under oath that she does not know who the birthfather is. After that, we put announcements in the paper for a few weeks asking if anyone has a claim to the baby (ie, the birthdad) to come forward. If no one comes forward, an attorney represents the birthfather and his rights are terminated. That same day the birthfather’s rights are terminated, we go into court and Joshua’s adoption is finalized. That will be a VERY fun day! Our attorney said that the judge is really nice and makes the adoption finalization pretty smooth.
Here’s hoping no one comes forward after we place those announcements in the paper!
Man, I give kudos to all you moms that BIRTHED your babies first and then had to care for them! I am tuckered out and I didn’t even have to push this little one out! Wow…
…I was up with Joshua all night, Donald slept on this super fantastic cot. The nurse was laughing at how Donald was out and just snoring away. Donald is a pro at swaddling though, so that’s his job for now. Last night I was up at 11pm, 2am, 5am, and Donald got up to do the 8am feeding. Last night Joshua was on my shoulder after I was burping him and he turned his head to look at me, it was so cool! And then last night while I was giving him his bottle, he turned his whole head so he could look at me better! I just love this little guy, I can’t believe it. I am tired but I am so happy at the same time. I think it’s finally sinking in. Can’t wait for these first sets of papers to get signed today!
Dad is holding little Joshua. He is the most adorable baby in the whole world!
Got to meet birthmom’s friend Katy that brought birthmom to the hospital & stayed through delivery. The birthmom didn’t want to meet us or exchange information, but we exchanged information with her. We’re going to email her photos of the baby and us and if sometime in the future the birthmom decides she wants to look at them, she can.
Katy shared with us what has been going on with birthmom. I guess birthmom was crying this morning and was having a hard time, but still wanted to go through with the adoption. When he was born, the doctor held Joshua up, and birthmom told him, “I am not doing this because I don’t love you, I’m doing this because I love you.” Katy shared that the birthmom has no interest in changing her mind, she wants to give us the baby, and is prepared to sign any and all documents. That made us feel a lot better. We told Katy to please tell the birthmom how brave she is, how courageous she is, and how much we appreciate what she’s done for us. We’re going to write the birth mom a letter and give it to Susan (our social worker) and the birthmom can decide if she wants to read it sometime in the future. It was neat how excited Katy was for us, and she was happy we were adopting the baby, it was a great experience.
Birthmom wanted to go home right away today, but she couldn’t relinquish the baby to us until 12 hours after birth. So, our social worker is going to meet with birthmom tomorrow to have her sign the relinquishment paperwork. For now, we are caring for Joshua with a signed Power of Attorney; his birthmom is giving us ability to make all health decisions and keep him in our care until she signs the papers tomorrow. I guess the dad’s parental rights will need to be terminated at court in 2 - 3 months. Donald and I were talking about it and we think we’ll have Joshua baptized at our new church after we move and after the adoption is finalized.
It feels wonderful, it’s nuts that we are this baby’s PARENTS. We aren’t babysitting, we aren’t keeping him for a while, but he is OURS. What a beautiful gift we’ve been given!
