HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Originally uploaded by metamorphilia.
Joshua Arden Salsbury
7 pounds, 19 inches, and more beautiful than we could have imagined! Lots more pictures here!
Posted by: DramaQueen | 04-16-2008 | 01:04 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | Our future kids | family | Preparing for Baby | Life as Mom | Comments (0)
I am here in my swanky hotel room. It’s an extended stay room with a kitchenette and a flat screen high definition television. Yes, I am here to work!
I am just so, so blessed by a lot of things. I have worked with this company for only 3 years and I’m now a member of management team. I have had to do well and succeed not only speaking in English but in Spanish to get to where I am today. I am so, so happy. Tomorrow we have a day where we dress up and have our photos taken, and we’re going to meet the vice president of the claims department.
I don’t know how much I’ll update while I’m here, but I know I am going to have a fabulous time and learn a lot. I don’t even think I can express how happy I am, how blessed I feel, and what a privledge it is to be here.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 02-24-2008 | 10:02 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | job | Comments (0)
Okay, I know it’s August, but I feel like posting about my husband.
We will be married 7 years January 6, 2008. I can’t even believe it, it’s gone by really fast. I was thinking of everything we’ve been through together….Our pastor always said when you take your wedding vows you think “Better…Richer…Health” but you promise the “Worse…Poorer….Sickness.” There are things we’ve been through that I wouldn’t ever have expected. However, through all of it, my husband’s true character has shone through.
He is a jem. I know it hurts him a lot that we haven’t been able to get pregnant, there is something in him that really wants to be a dad and have a baby. He doesn’t verbalize it a lot, but I know it hurts. Me? It hurts, but I just want a child, it doesn’t hurt nearly as much when I’m filling out adoption paperwork. I’m actually sort of relieved to not have to go through pregnancy and childbirth. Now, my hubby is all for adopting. But I think there is a part of him that hurts very deeply to think that maybe we won’t ever be able to give birth to our children. Has he ever blamed me? No. Has he ever pushed me to do infertility treatments I don’t want to do? Never. Has he been a rock when I’ve been a mess? Absolutely.
I think the “Infertility Club” is something you don’t understand till you’ve been there. Before we tried to have children, I looked at couples that had trouble having kids, and I felt badly for them, but I really didn’t understand. It’s a roller coaster, it doesn’t seem fair, and every young girl that buries her baby in the backyard with the help of her mom just eats at you. Every kid you hear of that’s killed, left in a car in the heat, or suffers from unspeakably stupid and neglectful acts makes you so angry!
My husband always says “drop them off at our doorstep” when he hears people complain about their children. He understands exactly how I feel when something about an abused or murdered child comes on the news. He is smart, good looking, sweet, kind, and he has shown himself to be wonderful, compassionate, and Godly even in the midst of such terrible pain. I guess I want to know that something good has come out of not being able to have children. The thing I see now is that I married the most wonderful man in the whole world. In the midst of pain and adversity you can really see the character of a person. My husband has been positive, supportive, and wonderful, even though I know it hurts him very deeply. He has always loved kids, and I knew from the moment I met him he wanted to be a dad.
Honey, you’re going to be a great dad. Hang in there. I love you.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 08-07-2007 | 10:08 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | Waiting | Marriage | Husband | God's Lessons | Comments (4)
I remember when I was a kid and I would go to my Grandma Eissens house and she had a plaque with “Footprints” on it. When I was little, I completely didn’t get it. I was like “why in the world was God carrying a guy on a beach? Were they surfing together?”
Whenever I see a similar plaque or card like it, be it in a store or in someone’s home, I remember that my Grandma had it. It hung on a small wall in her trailer, by her favorite LazyBoy armchair.
I wish I had that plaque of hers. I don’t have that, but I do have a Bible she owned. It’s a HUGE guideposts parallel Bible, with 4 versions of the Bible that you can look over at once. That Bible has been a great source of comfort, to think I am reading the same Bible, the same verses, that my Grandma probably read.
My mom was her daughter, and my mom is buried next to her in a small cemetery in Thomson, Illinois. They will have matching gravetones, pink, with her name, date of birth and death, and “Mother of Jessica, Julie, John & Jeff” written on the back. It’s been surreal and difficult to make lots of adult decisions all at once (I will have driven back to Illinois from Kansas 3 times since June 11th to handle family business), but God has given little encouragements along the way. Cards from people I haven’t talked to in years, nice conversations with friends that I’ve missed, and flowers from friends and family. I have also loved being more involved with my siblings and seeing them more often - I let it go too long between visits.
So, among all the unexpected pain and grief good things have been happening. We’re plugging forward on buying a house (we made another offer this week, and we’re expecting a counter offer from the seller), but no offers on our house yet. Right now, the adoption paperwork is on hold. We just don’t have the time with all the additional paperwork and responsibilities after my mom’s death. Her passing away was unexpected - she passed away in her sleep from a previously unknown heart condition.
Posts may be scattered and infrequent for a while, but hopefully in August we will have a new house and can get moving forward on adoption again.
Something that was so sweet, we found a card among mom’s belongings in her room. We had just begun telling her that we were adopting. We opened the card, and it played “Baby, Baby” by Amy Grant, and it was signed “Love, Grandma Gloria.” That has been the hardest thing for me and my husband, too, that she was looking forward to being a Grandma and it didn’t happen before she passed away. That has been the roughest on us.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 07-12-2007 | 08:07 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | God's Lessons | Comments (5)
November 11th our church is holding a 5k Run sponsoring Zicker Family missions (on my blogroll to the left) supporting orphans in Ethiopia. After the 5k run, a group of families from our church is going to discuss adoption. S., someone I’ve talked with off and on the past couple of years, is going to be one of the speakers on her adoption story. She and her husband adopted 2 girls from China.
S. came up to me at the women’s brunch today just to make sure I knew about the meeting as I’ve been asking her a lot of questions. So, I am very excited about our church starting this “Heart of adoption” discussion time and group.
[the following is taken from my church’s bulletin]
This coincides also with Family Life and Focus on the Family have teamed up with Shaohannah’s hope as one voice to call the body of Christ to care for orphans. During the week of November 13th-17th both radio programs will be discussing adoption and orphans. They have also launched a new website, www.voiceoftheorphan.org
So, as we’re gathering all our paperwork and gleaming information, I think this will be a good time. Waiting is difficult. At the women’s brunch today there were 2 women with very young babies. I know it was selfish of me, but I had to get out of there. Lately, I’ve had a hard time talking with or seeing people with young babies. I guess I would have expected to be a mom by now, and it’s difficult to watch people younger, or my age, with children.
However, the whole point of the brunch today was that life doesn’t always turn out the way that we want it to. If God calls us through certain trials or certain circumstances, those are ours to bear. It is all meant to glorify Him and draw us closer to Him. Doesn’t always mean it’s going to be easy, but that is what He requires of us. The speaker played a Ginny Owen song today, and the lyrics are as follows:
The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Chorus:
Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that’s not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me
And I’m all by myself
And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help
I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Posted by: DramaQueen | 10-28-2006 | 10:10 AM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | Adoption Support | Comments (0)
I cancelled my appointment today with the naturopathic doctor…I am very stressed about money, and though I would like to use natural medicine, I think I would rather spend money on an actual fertility specialist. I want to find out if there is something seriously wrong first (ie, blocked fallopian tube, cysts, etc.) After that is ruled out, I would feel comfortable going back to the naturopathic doctor for natural hormone replacement rather than shots. I am just concerned there may be something serious.
A friend of a friend was going through infertility treatment and they found cancer, so I guess I just want to rule any of that out, even though blood work has been normal. I am praying for a promotion; we’re going to need to make more money to continue to get out of debt and to keep saving for a baby, either through medical treatment or adoption.
I have been convicted as well about my lack of consistent quiet times lately. I have heard a lot of Christians talk about the importance of devotionals or quiet times. Most recently, Jim Ryun and his sons were guests on FamilyLifeToday and he acknowledged the importance of daily times with Lord. (listen to it here) What am I spending my time on? What am I worried about? Where I am I going with my life? I have to make sure those questions are in order, nothing else matters in the eternity of things.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 07-11-2006 | 10:07 AM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | God's Lessons | Comments (0)
I have been trying to listen to hymns and really listening and studying the words. They are full of good doctrine and encouragement for difficult times.
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?
The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.
Please pray for a friend of mine who is going through difficult times: pray that she would know Christ is her firm foundation.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 05-11-2006 | 09:05 AM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | God's Lessons | Comments (0)
Haven’t posted in a while– life’s been plugging along.
Talked with another friend at church, J., about her struggle with infertility. We were at a women’s brunch at her house and the entire table of conversation was about childbirth, c-sections, post-partum, etc, etc. She and I just winked at each other, which was awesome. It’s hard to explain when you’re going through a difficult time, and people don’t realize it, and then they discuss it in front of you. (More salt in the wound, please.) It was just great so have someone there who understood how I felt.
I have been listening to Marc Broussard, Fiona Apple, and Nickel Creek on my, well, it’s not an Ipod. Digital Music player I suppose. I think Nickel Creek is in Lawrence tonight (or maybe it was last week….) Have to work, sadly.
Right now, we are on the scavenger hunt for a treadmill to put in the livingroom. Also, I am tutoring someone in Spanish tomorrow so I need to get working on a practice test for him. Subjunctive verb forms, yippee!
Posted by: DramaQueen | 04-21-2006 | 08:04 AM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | Frustration | God's Lessons | Comments (2)
Today I turned on the fertility monitor again. It’s this nifty device that my husband’s best friend and wife have let us borrow. They were planning on going to a Kansas City Fertility clinic, used this machine, and they were able to get pregnant. It just tracks your most fertile days through urine test stips, and keeps track of the information in a small computer inside.
My husband talked to me a day, albeit briefly, stating “I don’t think we should go to the foster care seminar or worry about foster care or adoption right now.” Yes, I realize I skipped over the whole fertility deal (as you can see in the blog) and I think it’s because I find the whole thing terrifying. I know I am going to have to make more trips to the doctor (once the money is there) and then decide how far down the road to go.
Let’s look at 1 Samuel 1:4-7 : “On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, thought the LORD had closed her womb. And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the LORD had closed her womb. So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the LORD, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat.”
1 Samuel 1:10 : “She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly.”
Now, I am thankful that I am not one of two wives. However, I think it is fascinating. Her husband loved her best, even though she was barren. Also, year after year, the other wife, Peninnah, would be cruel to Hannah for being barren. However, in this passage, it’s clear that the LORD closed Hannah’s womb. What did she do? She was distressed, and later in the chapter she says “I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation” (v. 16b)
What does this have to do with a fertility monitor? Well, I think I need to sit down and deal with this “anxiety and vexation” rather than just tossing everything aside. I haven’t wanted to deal with it, I have just wanted something to do (ie, researching foster care and adoption) rather than praying about having a child of our own.
Now, God is sovereign. And He may decide otherwise. His hand controls power and might, and it is at His discretion that men are made great and given strength. He owns a thousand cattle on a thousand hills. Everything is His. I think the message I’m getting right now is I need to walk in this, pray about every step, and submit to my husband’s leadership in this matter. So, the adoption thing is a good thing to research for now, but the item at hand is the same thing Hannah had to deal with. She went to God, went and prayed to the LORD, the One in control of her womb. May I be half the woman she was.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 02-28-2006 | 12:02 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | Monthly Roller Coaster | Frustration | God's Lessons | Comments (0)
I haven’t done as much research into adoption this week. Have been focused on a Bible study that deals with weight loss…lost 5 pounds last week so that was an added bonus.
I was thinking today how I always “do better” when there is some type of Bible Study involved in weight loss. It seems to me that proves that my weight problem is turning to food for emotional comfort. When I turn my attention away from food and onto God, I see results. When I try to use a “normal” weight loss program that just teaches me about eating better, I don’t do as well.
I know what I am supposed to eat to eat healthily, but then I tend to crash and binge if I don’t focus on something else.
God is sovereign over all these problems, whether it’s money, or adoption, or infertility, or whatever. With talking from other women in Church or in Bible study, we need to realize it’s always something. Someone may be praying fervently for a husband she may not get. Someone may lose a child or a grandchild in a horrible accident. Someone else may get pregnant when they’re not expecting it, which causes stress. Someone else may be dealing with hurts from a spouse that’s having an affair. Someone may have to care for their spouse as they are dying of cancer.
My troubles and trials are small drops in the bucket compared to what everyone else in the world deals with. (Or even just the little world of our church). Christ died for all of them, all the sins I’ve committed, all the sins that have been committed against me, all the sins that have been done against my brothers and sisters in Christ and all the sins we have committed against each other.
I get mopey and upset about things but in the scheme of it, God is sovereign and He won’t give me more to handle than I am able to get through. Christ is on God’s right hand interceding for me.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 02-06-2006 | 06:02 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | God's Lessons | Comments (2)
