I worked from home yesterday and today…AWESOME! And I am going to work from home about 1-2 a week for the next few weeks!!!
Our house passed inspection, so the move is a go!
Joshua’s adoption finalization is May 28th! That evening, (starting at 4:00 ish) we’re having an open house/ adoption finalization party at our NEW house in Gardner. Email me at watermelonjessie at yahoo dot com if you didn’t get an invite, as I’ve been forgetful lately.
My friend Katharine called today and said she and some other church folks could help me pack!
This has been an AWESOME day!!!!!
And, my blog hit 10,000 visitors!! Woo hoo!
Thursday at 1pm I have my individual interiew with our social worker. The Thursday after Thanksgiving hubby and I have our couple interview. EVERYTHING in the homestudy is done except: fingerprints, tax forms from the past 2 years, and letters from our bank and 2 creditors that we’ve dealt with. WOO HOO.
There is a guy at work, D.S, he and his wife adopted 2 3 and 4 year old boys from the Ukraine. I have had such a good time talking with him. He will come up to me and ask “How is the adoption coming? What stage are you at?” People who have adopted just get it. You just want to talk about it with somebody, but it’s nice to talk to someone who really understands what you’re talking about! He told a great story about one of his boys that made me cry. When one of the boys was taking a bath, he would put all his mom’s shoes in the bathroom with him. His logic was is that his mom couldn’t leave the house without coming in the bathroom first to get her shoes! It’s so strange the way kids, and orphans, cope with separation and the logic they use. Even though we’re going through a lot of pain in our infertility struggles, there are orphans out there, like D.S.’s little boys, who were left without family, without much food, and without much hope for the future. Now, they’re with parents that love them.
Just listening to D.S. get all teary talking about his boys really warmed my heart. THAT’S what all this is for, those babies and children that are orphans that need homes, or those babies born to moms that love them but just can’t take care of them right now. It’s also great to have someone at work to just chat with about it. He said to me on Friday “It feels like forever, and it feels like with all the paperwork it’s never going to end, and it’s never going to happen. Just keep going. Once you have your kids, it will be like you’re always had them. You’ll even forget sometimes that they’re adopted, you’ll always think that they’re your biological children.”
I keep thinking about that as we fill out all these papers, go to all these meetings, and lay our life out for the “Really Big Nosy Job Interview,” that it will never end and we’ll never get a child. I know others have been through this and we can make it through as well. I finally feel like it’s getting closer: just a little bit left on the home study and then it’s up to the social worker to complete it.
No, it’s not what you think.
This morning I had my adoption physical. My Dr. and I were laughing today about it because there is a question on there that asks “Do you think this person would be fit to parent?” And she mentioned that almost all adoption physicals ask a question like that somewhere in the form. How in the WORLD do you answer a question like that? My doctor told me that I shouldn’t have any problems as far as the physical goes: she said if there are any problems with me having been diagnosed with depression to let me know and she can do an additional write up on me.
It was funny how she described my depression, though. She just wrote “Depression due to infertility.” Yea, I guess that sums it up. I think that’s been the thing that’s been the toughest to deal with. I also had a yearly female exam (I guess that’s the polite way to say it). I was half naked, with my feet in the stirrups, and she’s asking me all these questions for the physical while I’m laying down in that position. I had to keep myself from giggling.
I also had another TB test that needs to be read bright and early Monday morning. Since all my previous jobs were all in some time of health care field, I think I’ve had at least 15 tb tests. Hopefully, I still don’t have it!
Hubby gets his physical on Tuesday. Then, there is the references everyone should have gotten in the mail by now to fill out. We have to get 2 credit references, fill out our budget and gather up our past 2 years of tax returns. Me and one of my team mates were talking about the irony at work: Anybody can get pregnant if they want, but it’s such a big darn deal to get approved to adopt.
This is what it is. I’m trying to stay focused and give myself pep talks: if it’s meant to be it will happen. I just feel sometimes that all this work will be for nothing: kind of like getting our house on the market and waiting and waiting and nothing is happening. We’ve done most everything we can within our control, but now we have to wait, because there is nothing left for us to do.
Gospelcom.net has a link on its main page to Delve Into Jesus: 7 part series. I haven’t read the whole thing, but it’s pretty encouraging so far.
Thursday I am going to an adoption seminar. Unfortunately, hubby can’t come with me, but I’ll take good notes and post them. Our adoption attorney is the one hosting the seminar, and it’s free!
Heard back from the social worker, she said if we move it’s just some additional paperwork. She is very busy right now and can’t meet with us for a couple weeks, so I’ll have to follow up and see when she’s available. Not a big deal.
Housebuying has stopped. We’re waiting until our house sells, which is pretty frustrating, but hopefully with the price drop that will help.
Got to hold a couple of cute babies Sunday night at covenant group. Tons of fun!
Through our adoption support group at church, we’ve been introduced to a couple who has domestically adopted through an attorney in Kansas City. She mentioned how the attorney has worked with birth mothers to arrange the adoptions.
Very excited about this meeting…I am glad that we are on the same page about which way we want to go in the adoption process. There are so many decisions to make, I’m glad we’ve at least narrowed it down to domestic.
We’ve been in contact with our local Foster Care adoption worker (through adoptUSKids). Her name is Alex. She’s suggested that maybe if we move in the middle of the process we may need to redo our homestudies or retake some classes.
However, I think right now we’re leaning towards domestic adoption from an attorney or private agency, not necessarily through Foster Care, but that may change. It will be a good meeting on Tuesday!
My husband also met someone from work that knows someone who adopted from Olathe, Kansas. It’s so cool how God is putting all these different people in our lives, I don’t feel so alone!
Saturday at 7am we are walking in a 5k which supports the Zicker family orphan mission Fields of promise (on blogroll).
After that, our church is having their first ever “Adoption Support Group.”
That night, we’re going to a surprise 50th birthday party for a friend. So, it will be a busy day, but I’m hoping to make a large post on Saturday with everything I’ve learned from our church’s adoption meeting.
Registered my husband and I for a 5k Run (I will be walking) that benefits orphans in Ethiopia. After the run, the adoption group is meeting from church. It will be a day of learning about orphans!
I have been walking at 5am most mornings with a friend, last week it was only 1 day due to the rain. This coming week we should be purchasing a used treadmill.
I haven’t weighed myself lately, I really don’t want to see it! I am just praying that God would take away this desire to eat whenever I’m depressed or anxious.
My husband might be playing basketball tonight w/ the men’s group. We have our budget to work on. Yesterday I did a bunch of laundry and paid bills. When did becoming an adult be so boring?
This is getting harder and harder to keep plugging away when month after month there is this roller coster of anticipation, a couple weeks of waiting, and then disappointment. We’ve tried all sorts of crazy “home methods” and “old wives tales,” and we’ll continue to do so. Nothing else to do while we’re waiting to move into a bigger house, as we’ve decided we’re not going to start filling out paperwork until we’ve moved. I have being so happy and hoping and then so disappointed. I just wish I could turn my emotions off or I wish I could be told that we’re infertile, but there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix. It’s just waiting, and when we get tired of waiting and nothing has happened, it’s moving on to the next step.
November 11th our church is holding a 5k Run sponsoring Zicker Family missions (on my blogroll to the left) supporting orphans in Ethiopia. After the 5k run, a group of families from our church is going to discuss adoption. S., someone I’ve talked with off and on the past couple of years, is going to be one of the speakers on her adoption story. She and her husband adopted 2 girls from China.
S. came up to me at the women’s brunch today just to make sure I knew about the meeting as I’ve been asking her a lot of questions. So, I am very excited about our church starting this “Heart of adoption” discussion time and group.
[the following is taken from my church’s bulletin]
This coincides also with Family Life and Focus on the Family have teamed up with Shaohannah’s hope as one voice to call the body of Christ to care for orphans. During the week of November 13th-17th both radio programs will be discussing adoption and orphans. They have also launched a new website, www.voiceoftheorphan.org
So, as we’re gathering all our paperwork and gleaming information, I think this will be a good time. Waiting is difficult. At the women’s brunch today there were 2 women with very young babies. I know it was selfish of me, but I had to get out of there. Lately, I’ve had a hard time talking with or seeing people with young babies. I guess I would have expected to be a mom by now, and it’s difficult to watch people younger, or my age, with children.
However, the whole point of the brunch today was that life doesn’t always turn out the way that we want it to. If God calls us through certain trials or certain circumstances, those are ours to bear. It is all meant to glorify Him and draw us closer to Him. Doesn’t always mean it’s going to be easy, but that is what He requires of us. The speaker played a Ginny Owen song today, and the lyrics are as follows:
The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Chorus:
Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that’s not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone
So When the whole world turns against me
And I’m all by myself
And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help
I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
It’s such a pretty song, and it expresses a lot of the hurts we go through that we really don’t understand. If that’s what God requires of us, however, we need to be willing to go through it.
I am probably jumping the gun, but I am starting to tell people when they ask me what’s going on (and old friend emailed me.) That my husband and I are moving next spring and then we’re going to pursue adoption.
It kind of puts butterflies in my stomach, because I think “How will they react?”, “Is this a for sure thing?”
How did you tell people you were adopting? Did you tell people right away at the beginning, or wait until the process was almost complete??
Emailed my friend H. today about adopting through the Foster care system. Asked her if she could guide me through some websites that address it. My friend H. works for Douglas County as a coordinator of volunteers for Citizen Review Board. The website on the front right now is basically adverstising adoption, so I’m going to read through that site first and then see what else H. guides me to.
This is one site I found on Kansas Foster Care This is an old site it seems
This is a website that generally lays out differences between international and domestic. Obviously, the site favors domestic adoption and has services for Birthmothers, which is great if you’re in an unplanned pregnancy situation.
Will update more with what I find out tomorrow!
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