On the Edge of a Cliff and Ready to Fly

Ever since we brought Josh home (and even in the hospital) we would feed him, change him, lay him in his bassinet and he would just fall asleep.

When we moved to our house in Gardner, we graduated Josh to his crib. Again, we could easily keep to a routine of bottle, dry diaper, bed, and he would go right to sleep. From June on he would sleep all the way through the night in his crib, which was AWESOME.

Lately, he has been crying and fussing and we get so tired we end up keeping him in bed with us. He sleeps great laying in between us. However, he will toss and turn, flop on us, bang his head on my side, turn himself around and nearly push me off the side. I have been tired from dealing with this the past couple weeks. (Donald I think sleeps through all this.) Work has been stressful, and not having good sleep is making me irritable.

It got to a terrible point this week of being stressed and tired and almost near a breakdown.

I needed to do something to feel better. I decided to join a gym last Thursday- my friend Jamie from work goes there and they have yoga. I arranged for my other work friend Natalie to watch Josh every Thursday night so I can go to a relaxation yoga class Thursday nights. They have a pretty extensive child care area, and everyone has background checks, so I’m going to try out taking Josh there to see how it works. I’ve gone and done arm weights, and I even felt better even after just doing that. I think this is going to be good to get away from everything at work and home and work out by myself. I just need to carve time out for it. A few years ago I went to the gym almost every day before work, and I felt awesome mentally and physically. I am really looking forward to having some “me” time at the gym!!

Yesterday and the day before have been a challenge.

Josh has started this new scream. Those of you that have heard Josh cry know how loud and extended his cry is. Well, the little one has kicked it up a notch by wailing in a very high pitched, blood curdling yell. He has also taken to throwing a fit – pitching himself backwards and throwing himself on the floor if I tell him no or try to take something away from him that isn’t safe. Just a moment ago I took away the computer cord and he jumped up and down and whined – luckily this time he didn’t pitch himself on the floor as a fit.

Yesterday was especially rough because nothing seemed to help. If I held him, he threw a fit, pitched back, and even hit his head twice on the floor in the midst of his fit. If I left him alone for a minute to go to the restroom, he would pull out his blood curdling high pitched wail. Finally, at 8pm last night, after dealing with this from 5:00 – 8:00, Josh and I sat on the couch and cried together. Donald came home at 10:30p or so when Josh had finally started to sleep in his crib. Josh woke up at 11pm, with another blood curdling wail, but Donald brought him into the bed and he slept with us the rest of the night until 7am this morning. This is the first time in a long time he’s slept the whole night with us in our bed. Usually when he’s grumpy, we can hold him for a while and lay him in his crib, but I didn’t want to risk listening to his superpowered wailing anymore. Yesterday was one of the worst days as a mommy ever, I just wanted to run away and not come back.

We think he might be grumpy because of his teeth, so I stocked up on tylenol, ibuprofen, orajel, and another teether. I’m going to track and see if making sure he has medicine at regular intervals helps us out today.