How my life is different
Since becoming a “working mom,” my life certainly has changed. I have a mentor at work, M., with whom I go to lunch 1 a month to talk about work and home life things. She is in a good place to mentor me because she is the main breadwinner of her family as well and she’s worked on balancing home and life.
Since Joshua, work isn’t as consuming for me as it was. I think I threw myself into work a lot more to keep my mind off of the infertility battle. It actually turned out to be a good thing, because I worked my way up to make enough so we could afford to adopt and raise our family. My life used to be either 1) Working, 2) Studying for some exam for work 3) Doing some type of extra activity for work to add to my resume. Now, I am trying to get things back into balance, and put more home into my life. Having a baby and having to pay for babysitting doesn’t lend itself well to working lots of extra hours. I’ve had to really prioritize what is important and I’ve said “no” to a lot of activities and committees that I normally would have jumped on. I am just focusing on the Bilingual Committee and Toastmasters at work, in addition to getting my team to where they need to be.
I’ve started a new routine. Mornings are so hectic trying to get Joshua up and ready to go to his uncle’s (or just get him ready for the day), so I’ve started showering every night rather than in the morning. We are not eating out as much (due to cost and it’s actually more inconvenient sometimes with a little one) so I am doing a lot of the cooking. Every weekend I pick a meal (last week it was dirty rice, this week it was meatloaf and mashed taters) and I put it into individual containers and freeze. It’s something I did occasionally before Joshua, but now it is a must. I don’t have time to cook during the week. I come home (sometimes carrying a baby, diaper bag, purse, & laptop bag), tired already from a long day, trying to get Joshua fed, there is just no way that I have time to cook dinner.
Additionally, Donald and I each take turns being a “single parent” it feels like. The one time I usually have Donald here to help watch Josh while I cook is Saturday mornings, so I have Donald watch Joshua while I get up early Saturday and get things cooked and the kitchen cleaned afterwards. I’ve done this for about a month, and it’s working well. I understand now why parents of young children really crave schedules and don’t want to go out of town as much. If my only time to prep food is Saturday morning, it’s such a pain to reschedule that to do something else! Isn’t that strange?
If I have to do something different one weekend, it can throw the whole schedule off.
Posted by: DramaQueen | 08-23-2008 | 10:08 AM
Posted in: Marriage | Husband | job | Life as Mom
Hang in there as you seek to strike the balance. It is a unique challenge being a work outside of the home mom! I can stand absolutely positive that working outside of the home makes me a much better mommy to my boys for multiple reasons. It gives me something to “fill my cup” so that my soul is fulfilled with something that is just for me. It also forces me to be scheduled and that leads to quality, quality, quality in all that I do because the time is limited. My boys end up getting very socialized between school and daycare and they are learning balance by watching me and they get quality over quantity. It has been great for us. The early days are tough though because you are trying to get everything in and unfortunately it is pretty tough to do EVERYTHING, however, the older that children get the easier it becomes because it isn’t such a production just to get out of the house!
Just know that we are thinking about you and praying for you guys!