We’ve been “almost done” with our home study for a few weeks now. Our social worker has had to deal with the death of a close friend, so she has had to cancel our last few appointments. We have sent in our background checks to the state, but we still need to send in our fingerprints and background check request to the FBI. Hopefully, we can get the homestudy done in December or January at the latest.
Hubby’s dad is staying with us for a few weeks. He works at a golf course and gets laid off every winter, so he’s using this time to make some extra money by helping friends and family with handiman type work. It’s amazing the things he can do. He’s specifically going to help us get our house ready to put back on the market. We’ve planned on finishing repainting, new flooring (laminate, which should be cat proof), and a new kitchen stove.
Tomorrow morning (if it doesn’t ice over) we’re supposed to take some boxes to our storage unit to begin clearing things so we have more room in the garage for the remodeling project.
A week ago we got a puppy! We’ve been waiting and looking into getting a corgi puppy for the past few years, and we finally decided to get one. I’ve been in the dumps emotionally about everything lately, so a puppy has been a good distraction. My medicine I think has kept me out of a deep, dark depression, but I’m pretty upset and heartsick about the infertility issues. I scheduled an appointment with a counselor for 2 weeks from now, and I cannot wait. Some days I’m fine, some days I can hardly function. It’s hard to explain or understand.
Found out today that my WORK LAPTOP has been SHIPPED! I am so excited, you have no idea. One of my friend’s from work keeps teasing me, saying that I DON’T want a laptop, as that means I’ll be forced to be salaried and not get overtime and work from home! Oh well. I am just very excited, as this has been my first grown up job, and my first job that I’ve been really successful at.
They haven’t made the official announcement that we’re in the Claims Leadership Development group, but I believe the official notice should be sent out by the end of the week or next week. They have to wait until everyone in a particular “class” (this class size being 9) passes their interviews and tests, and once everyone passes everything they send out a group email that the class has begun for Claims Leadership Development. Highly exciting!
The rough emotional personal part is that I just keep thinking how unfair it is that we haven’t had kids yet. Now, I am trying to work on not becoming a bitter and angry basket case. I am also trying not to count the number of pregnant women I see walk by me every day. My husband said something encouraging to me today, he said “Not everyone makes as much money as we do to be able to adopt. I think God is showing us something in this.”
I have sat here for a few moments and thought about it. A couple years ago my husband and I were in a lot of debt, hardly making ends meet, and we talked with someone who worked with us on Crown Financial principles. I just was looking at our financial situation and thinking “There is no way we can afford to adopt. There is no way, we don’t even make enough to support ourselves.” I prayed, and prayed, wondering how we would get enough money to adopt. I put it out of my mind for awhile and just kept plugging at my job.
Well, what God has done is given me three promotions in 18 months. My salary quadrupled from what it was 4 years ago. We have great benefits and the possibility of hubby having 3 days off a week to be home with a baby. Where a couple years ago I was discouraged and thought it was impossible I see where doors have been opened. Life isn’t fair sometimes, and I may always be sad about not being able to get pregnant and have a child, but I would never have thought we would be able to earn enough to adopt. Honestly, we don’t NEED all this extra income. God has been gracious in giving it to us so we can feel more able to adopt.
I am not saying you must be SUPER rich to adopt, because that is a misnomer, but it helps to have extra income and not feel so strapped. It helps so much to know what we’re working so hard for; there are kids that need homes, and that is where our money is going towards, giving these kids a home.
…but I passed my test tonight!
What does this mean? My head, for about the 6th or 7th time this year, has been packed full of insurance jargon and facts. I get another promotion & raise, and then I get to participate in the claims leadership development program. Part of this training is spending a week in California, at our home office. I am SO EXCITED.
I just keep plugging, even thought it’s been kind of stressful taking all these tests. I just know with each step we’re making more money to be able to adopt, a more flexible schedule (I’ll be salaried and can have the option to work from home some times) which will hopefully give hubby the opportunity to work from home.
My husband’s friend has his own photography business, and he was nice enough to take some photos of us. Check out his site! This is me and hubby’s photo album. If you’re in the area, give him a ring. I think he did a great job, don’t you?
Thursday at 1pm I have my individual interiew with our social worker. The Thursday after Thanksgiving hubby and I have our couple interview. EVERYTHING in the homestudy is done except: fingerprints, tax forms from the past 2 years, and letters from our bank and 2 creditors that we’ve dealt with. WOO HOO.
There is a guy at work, D.S, he and his wife adopted 2 3 and 4 year old boys from the Ukraine. I have had such a good time talking with him. He will come up to me and ask “How is the adoption coming? What stage are you at?” People who have adopted just get it. You just want to talk about it with somebody, but it’s nice to talk to someone who really understands what you’re talking about! He told a great story about one of his boys that made me cry. When one of the boys was taking a bath, he would put all his mom’s shoes in the bathroom with him. His logic was is that his mom couldn’t leave the house without coming in the bathroom first to get her shoes! It’s so strange the way kids, and orphans, cope with separation and the logic they use. Even though we’re going through a lot of pain in our infertility struggles, there are orphans out there, like D.S.’s little boys, who were left without family, without much food, and without much hope for the future. Now, they’re with parents that love them.
Just listening to D.S. get all teary talking about his boys really warmed my heart. THAT’S what all this is for, those babies and children that are orphans that need homes, or those babies born to moms that love them but just can’t take care of them right now. It’s also great to have someone at work to just chat with about it. He said to me on Friday “It feels like forever, and it feels like with all the paperwork it’s never going to end, and it’s never going to happen. Just keep going. Once you have your kids, it will be like you’re always had them. You’ll even forget sometimes that they’re adopted, you’ll always think that they’re your biological children.”
I keep thinking about that as we fill out all these papers, go to all these meetings, and lay our life out for the “Really Big Nosy Job Interview,” that it will never end and we’ll never get a child. I know others have been through this and we can make it through as well. I finally feel like it’s getting closer: just a little bit left on the home study and then it’s up to the social worker to complete it.
