7 years in January

Okay, I know it’s August, but I feel like posting about my husband.

We will be married 7 years January 6, 2008. I can’t even believe it, it’s gone by really fast.  I was thinking of everything we’ve been through together….Our pastor always said when you take your wedding vows you think “Better…Richer…Health” but you promise the “Worse…Poorer….Sickness.” There are things we’ve been through that I wouldn’t ever have expected. However, through all of it, my husband’s true character has shone through.

He is a jem. I know it hurts him a lot that we haven’t been able to get pregnant, there is something in him that really wants to be a dad and have a baby. He doesn’t verbalize it a lot, but I know it hurts. Me? It hurts, but I just want a child, it doesn’t hurt nearly as much when I’m filling out adoption paperwork. I’m actually sort of relieved to not have to go through pregnancy and childbirth. Now, my hubby is all for adopting. But I think there is a part of him that hurts very deeply to think that maybe we won’t ever be able to give birth to our children. Has he ever blamed me? No. Has he ever pushed me to do infertility treatments I don’t want to do? Never. Has he been a rock when I’ve been a mess? Absolutely.

I think the “Infertility Club” is something you don’t understand till you’ve been there. Before we tried to have children, I looked at couples that had trouble having kids, and I felt badly for them, but I really didn’t understand. It’s a roller coaster, it doesn’t seem fair, and every young girl that buries her baby in the backyard with the help of her mom just eats at you. Every kid you hear of that’s killed, left in a car in the heat, or suffers from  unspeakably stupid and neglectful acts makes you so angry!

My husband always says “drop them off at our doorstep” when he hears people complain about their children.  He understands exactly how I feel when something about an abused or murdered child comes on the news. He is smart, good looking, sweet, kind, and he has shown himself to be wonderful, compassionate, and Godly even in the midst of such terrible pain. I guess I want to know that something good has come out of not being able to have children. The thing I see now is that I married the most wonderful man in the whole world. In the midst of pain and adversity you can really see the character of a person. My husband has been positive, supportive, and wonderful, even though I know it hurts him very deeply. He has always loved kids, and I knew from the moment I met him he wanted to be a dad.

Honey, you’re going to be a great dad. Hang in there. I love you.

Posted by: DramaQueen | 08-07-2007 | 10:08 PM
Posted in: God's Faithfulness | Waiting | Marriage | Husband | God's Lessons