We got out homestudy emailed to us today, 15 plus pages of what I call “the extra-nosy job interview.” Except it is much more personal. Describe your childhood? What is your dad like? What are your tax records for the past 2 years? Can I get a copy of your marriage certificate? What are good and bad childhood memories?
Emailed everyone that I could think of that I have asked to be a reference for us the past couple years, since there is 1 whole page with about 15 spaces asking for references. It feels better to have it, it’s been making me nuts having to wait, I am less frustrated when I can at least feel like I’m making progress towards having a child. I am trying to not think about how “regular” parents don’t have to fill this stuff out, that’s not my journey, this is our journey. Rather than carrying and birthing a baby, we’re going to get ours with paperwork and prayer. This will be our story, our family’s story, and our kids will still be our kids, no matter if I birthed them or not. If we really are against abortion, we need to be willing to give these moms an alternative. If we (I mean, we, proverbial, as Christians) really believe that life starts at the beginning, we need to be willing to put our money where our mouth is and give children a home that need a home. We aren’t going to be perfect parents, we aren’t going to be rich, but we can give a child love and a roof and clothing.
I was going to bed last night and I’ve been thinking and praying for this baby all last night and all today. I really can’t listen to the news before I go to bed, too many terrible stories like this.
Gospelcom.net has a link on its main page to Delve Into Jesus: 7 part series. I haven’t read the whole thing, but it’s pretty encouraging so far.
Thursday I am going to an adoption seminar. Unfortunately, hubby can’t come with me, but I’ll take good notes and post them. Our adoption attorney is the one hosting the seminar, and it’s free!
Heard back from the social worker, she said if we move it’s just some additional paperwork. She is very busy right now and can’t meet with us for a couple weeks, so I’ll have to follow up and see when she’s available. Not a big deal.
Housebuying has stopped. We’re waiting until our house sells, which is pretty frustrating, but hopefully with the price drop that will help.
Got to hold a couple of cute babies Sunday night at covenant group. Tons of fun!
I know you know exactly what I’m feeling. You understand those 3 weeks in the middle of the month, when you’re waiting? You try not to think about it, you try not to count the days, you try not to count the months out. You spend all your energy trying not to think about it, because you know you’re going to be disappointed in, oh, give or take, 2 weeks.
I was listining to Car Talk the other day, and they talked about this funny car selling advertisement a listener had come across. The advertisement was this: [I don’t remember the exact vehicle, but here goes]: “1996 Plymouth Voyager for sale. I would rather drive a railroad spike through my face than drive this car for another month.”
You know what I’m talking about. I don’t have to say another word. I’m sorry that you have had to go through this, or are going through this. It hurts, but you know exactly how I’m feeling, when most people don’t. You completely understand how we’d like to take that 1996 Plymouth voyager, pitch it off the side of a cliff, and then set it on fire with some industrial strength fireworks.
You pick out the fireworks, sisters, and I’ll bring plenty of matches.
*BOOM!*
Okay, I know it’s August, but I feel like posting about my husband.
We will be married 7 years January 6, 2008. I can’t even believe it, it’s gone by really fast. I was thinking of everything we’ve been through together….Our pastor always said when you take your wedding vows you think “Better…Richer…Health” but you promise the “Worse…Poorer….Sickness.” There are things we’ve been through that I wouldn’t ever have expected. However, through all of it, my husband’s true character has shone through.
He is a jem. I know it hurts him a lot that we haven’t been able to get pregnant, there is something in him that really wants to be a dad and have a baby. He doesn’t verbalize it a lot, but I know it hurts. Me? It hurts, but I just want a child, it doesn’t hurt nearly as much when I’m filling out adoption paperwork. I’m actually sort of relieved to not have to go through pregnancy and childbirth. Now, my hubby is all for adopting. But I think there is a part of him that hurts very deeply to think that maybe we won’t ever be able to give birth to our children. Has he ever blamed me? No. Has he ever pushed me to do infertility treatments I don’t want to do? Never. Has he been a rock when I’ve been a mess? Absolutely.
I think the “Infertility Club” is something you don’t understand till you’ve been there. Before we tried to have children, I looked at couples that had trouble having kids, and I felt badly for them, but I really didn’t understand. It’s a roller coaster, it doesn’t seem fair, and every young girl that buries her baby in the backyard with the help of her mom just eats at you. Every kid you hear of that’s killed, left in a car in the heat, or suffers from unspeakably stupid and neglectful acts makes you so angry!
My husband always says “drop them off at our doorstep” when he hears people complain about their children. He understands exactly how I feel when something about an abused or murdered child comes on the news. He is smart, good looking, sweet, kind, and he has shown himself to be wonderful, compassionate, and Godly even in the midst of such terrible pain. I guess I want to know that something good has come out of not being able to have children. The thing I see now is that I married the most wonderful man in the whole world. In the midst of pain and adversity you can really see the character of a person. My husband has been positive, supportive, and wonderful, even though I know it hurts him very deeply. He has always loved kids, and I knew from the moment I met him he wanted to be a dad.
Honey, you’re going to be a great dad. Hang in there. I love you.
