When the time comes and you are matched, you’ll be surprised at how emotional things will be for everyone involved. We made a point to NOT invite our extended family members to be at the hospital with us when our son was born for 2 reasons:

1) We know our son’s birth mother would have to remake her decision after he was born and we didn’t want added pressure on her by having our family there.

2) We felt it was inappropriate to have our family there celebrating our son’s birth when we knew that his birth family would be grieving the loss of this little boy.

The day the termination papers were signed (our son was a mere 5 days old) I spoke with his birthmother over the phone and we both cried together. I felt so horrible that my happiness had to come at the expense of her sorrow. These are difficult emotions to handle so be prepared.

Now, almost 3 years later, we’re still in contact with Snuggle Bug’s birth mother via email. I mail her pictures/updates every 6 months and she loves that! We are very careful to treat her with the respect and kindness that she deserves.

From what I’m reading on your blog, I think you’re going to do just fine in this area. The fact that you are aware of the complicated nature of adoption and the need for sensitivity towards the birth parents/families says a lot about your good character!